I couldn’t go to Bible study on Wednesday because I had a swollen face and it will be difficult to explain to church members what happened to me. I sat back at home while he alone went to church. We normally close our Bible study by 7pm – by 7:08pm about six people had called me from church asking why I didn’t come for Bible Study with my husband. Sis Bassey was the first to call, how are you Sis Folake, we didn’t see you in church today, hope everything is well? She asked me on phone. Of course I give no other explanation than to say “it is well”. The popular phrase used in christiandom to cover up many things. It is always well even if it is not well. How can I say it is well when my husband beat me up yesterday leaving me with a swollen face? Yet it is well. I dear not say otherwise or else the whole church will be in our house the next moment.
Mummy pastor was my second caller, we call our pastor’s wife “mummy pastor”. ‘How are you my daughter?’ she greeted on phone. ‘I am fine ma.’ I replied. ‘Why didn’t we see you in church today?’ She asked. ‘I….emmm….actually…’ I stalled and stammered just to avoid telling lies but I really didn’t have no other choice. ‘I just needed a little rest and I will be fine ma. I will be in church on Friday for the prayer meeting.’ I quickly chipped in so she won’t suggest a visitation. ‘I knew by Friday my swollen face would have subsided or gone completely. I began to think of what I will tell Mr Alfred tomorrow at work. There’s no way he won’t notice me since he didn’t see me in church for Bible study. If I excuse myself from work, it would generate more suspicion. Moreover I can’t afford to joke with my work now that my husband has lost his own job.
I went in front of my mirror to check on my face again. Maybe I should use dark shades to cover up. But I have never used it before, won’t that bring about suspicion too? My husband now has more time at home now that he’s not working again. I didn’t know my husband loved sex this much until now that he is having issues with depression. Since he lost his job we have sex almost everyday of the week even though I don’t enjoy it. I hear a lot of women talk about how they enjoy having sex but I see no fun in it but I needed it badly just to have my own baby. Sometimes he may not talk to me for three days but he can go as far as four rounds before day break. He only comes around when he needs sex, otherwise he’s with his Bible. Sometimes I wondered what he reads in that Bible, he could spend hours reading. Even though I don’t see the reflections in his life.
‘This is the third time you are doing this, this night even when I complained to that I am feeling headache. I am not sure I can go another round again, I am dying please. This is the first time I am turning his sexual advances down. But the Bible says “defraud not one another”, he quoted. But I have never defrauded you, I am only sick and need to get better so I can make it up to you. All my pleas fell on deaf ears as he grabbed my pant and tore it off me and forced himself on me. Our pastor’s wife taught us in one of our women’s program that there’s nothing like rape in marriage but my husband has just raped me.
“Don’t you think that was rape?”
That night I wept and wet my pillow with my tears. I tried not to hate him but he had begun planting seeds of bitterness in me already. I began to detest him and sex gradually became a nightmare to me. THE MAN I MARRIED is a rapist. When he touched me another night I politely told him I was menstrating but that didn’t stop him. He slept with me all the five days I menstrated. Those times were horrible and painful. I felt like running mad or committing suicide. THE MAN I MARRIED has become a sex addict.
Sometimes I wondered why he will be this cruel and still be used by God. How can a wife beater still pray like heaven will fall? A rapist yet he still preach with the voice of thunder. Cruel but spiritual. Why will prophecy not reveal this MAN I MARRIED? Why would dreams and visions not pick him up and expose his true identity? You think I have suffered, no, my suffering just began. Watch out for the agony of a woman in a wrong marriage in episode ten￼￼￼￼
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